Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The stuff no one says

I'm an honest person. I don't sugar coat anything. Sometimes that bites me in the butt and sometimes people appreciate that trait about me.  I try not to cover the truth up and I am a realist, but that doesn't mean I'm a negative person.
I tell it like I see it, but I usually look for the best in situations.

When I started this blog, I said that I wanted to share ALL of life's details. I put pretty pictures up of our smiling family, doing fun activities and that is our life a lot of the time. We are a happy family. I don't take any of it for granted and sometimes I sit back and reflect on how in the world God blessed me with such a wonderful life that I don't deserve.
I am thankful that I have a few readers that enjoy reading about my everyday life.

That being said, I don't want to portray a life that isn't realistic.

Some days are really hard. Some days I forget to brush my teeth because the morning starts with a bang. Some days I forget to each lunch because I am running around doing laundry, praying that a crying toddler will take a nap, preparing dinner and running errands. I can't tell you the last time I have gone to the bathroom alone during the middle of the week. I can't tell you the last time I went shopping alone. You can bet that any "new" shirt I have is from Target and I grabbed it off the clearance section while not stopping the cart, because stopping the cart means a small tantrum from a tiny lady in my cart. When I used to actually go to an office to work and I got a paycheck, I could spend money a little more how I pleased. Now, I have this thing called "mom guilt" that even when I do buy something, I feel guilty about it.

The weekends don't exist. I don't "escape" my workplace with vacations. I don't get sick days. Last week I had a 101 temperature and slept about 4 hours that night, but I still went to "work". Who else is going to?
I don't do lunch outings with girlfriends or coworkers. If I'm lucky enough to squeeze a lunch in, it's between nap time and cleaning around the house.
This JULY, I thought back to the last time I had my hair cut....it had been 8 months. Hair cuts for me means finding a sitter and planning in advance. Planning in advance with a toddler is an art that I just don't have down yet. So please excuse my split ends....you won't notice them when my hair is in a tangled mess at the top of my head.

The stay at home moms that dress in cute yoga outfits with Starbucks in their hands with their hair perfectly in place?
They don't exist. And if they do, it's because they have nannies.

Do you know what is considered "a little break for mommy"?
Painting my daughters room.
The adult conversation is rare most of the day. The only quiet time I have is in the early morning before anyone is up and I'm running while I'm doing it. Literally.
The water cooler talk at the office? Well, that's what the blog has been good for.

When people say, "So what are you going to do tomorrow? Just hang out. Play all day?" I laugh in my head. Clearly, they have no idea what they are talking about.
Staying at home is hard. It's a challenge everyday and I will never get any glory for it. The pay is terrible and most of the time I feel like I am looked down on because I do it.
I will never get an accolade for it, but I don't want one.
I don't want glory.
I don't want awards.
I want a well rounded, healthy, happy, loving, God fearing daughter. I pray for that daily.
 I pray that I am being a good teacher, mother, wife and child of God.
But I know that a lot of times, I fall short.
I don't go to bed every night with a smile on my face. I know that I should because I am undeservingly blessed, but sometimes I fall asleep faster than I can even finish my prayer.
And some times I just go to bed in a bad mood.

I am happy staying at home. It is hard, but I have learned that anything worth while is worth working hard for. I wouldn't change anything in my life (except for maybe dogs that don't shed).
Please don't hear me saying I want pity or that I don't love and appreciate my life.
I just want to be real.
Please, don't look at my life and think it's perfect because that doesn't exist.
Don't compare your life to other blogs.
Don't compare your life to anyone elses.
Live your life and encourage others in their journey.

So, thank you for reading. Thank you for following. Thank you for being support because everyone does need some support every now and then.


Ashley said...

Great Post....I am not a stay at home mom but I do know that it takes a lot of work. Your doing a great job :)

Stephanie said...

I love this post! I'm just months away from starting my job as a stay at home Mom and I'm scared out of my mind! I know that the baby and I will figure each other out and my life with be okay. I'm very blessed to have this opportunity and I need to remember that in the moments when everything is going wrong.

Jen Grantham said...

As much as I love cute, light hearted posts, I love the real ones more. Thank you for keeping it real. Drinks and adult convo soon. K?

Dana said...

I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but let me tell you that you are NOT alone. I am a Mommy to 2 boys who are now 19 and 14, I stayed home with them for 10 years and it was HARD! No one tells you thanks for the delicious healthy food, they'd rather eat Twinkiees and Skittles! No one notices the clean toilets and vacuumed floor, but it is ALL worth it. My boys grew up TOO fast, and I am grateful I was there for them. It's true that the days are long, but the years are short! I am now a teacher and have a classroom FULL of kiddos and their parents (I teach parenting classes) and this job is MUCH easier that being a SAHM of 2 kiddos...try to enjoy every moment, even though it is hard!

Erin said...

Great post. So glad I've had the privilege to follow your story for so many months. You are such a wonderful mama, wife and woman!